This is something I wrote about 1.5 years ago while potty training my son Jack, then 2.5 yrs. My newest baby was only 8 weeks old and I pretty much spent the month of August 2006 in the downstairs half bathroom with my son and the new baby.IS there anything more frustrating than potty training a toddler? (I’m sure there is but I just can’t think of it right now.) Is there any task that shows one more clearly how little control one truly has over a child? When our babies are little and fresh from the womb, we tote them around and provide for their every need. As they become toddlers, the ever strong & present “will” begins to rear it’s ugly head.
My son is in "big boy underpants." Aren't you proud? He’s becoming a pro at getting to the potty in time for #1. However, he will not do #2 in the potty and asks for a diaper when it's time for that. I can't force him - he pitches a fit, then holds it in. I think I'm just going to have to wait for him to decide it's time. Just hope that's before he starts kindergarten.
Potty training my first child, dear Elizabeth, was a disaster. She was a bright, beautiful little child with a potent will to boot. Introducing the potty was fine and by age 2 ½ I knew for certain she understood and had the capacity to go diaper-free. She, however, did not have the desire to retire the tried-and-true diapers. No, no, she was determined not to go down without a fight. I, then, tried everything – stickers, candy, bribery – none of which did a bit of good. She set her feet with a willful pout and stood her ground. In desperation I turned to my pediatrician, a mother of three, whose diagnosis was swift and prescription was stunning to this first-time-mom: I had set up a battle and I needed to “drop it” for at least a month. A whole month?? No asking, dragging, begging my little one to the potty for a whole month?? This sounded like insanity to me.
I’m beginning to think that potty training is simply a metaphor for all of child rearing. During this short-but-oh-so-intense time of life, the goal is to get your child to move from diapers to using the toilet, from complete dependence on an adult to being able to handle it on his own. Our little babies come from the womb so completely and utterly dependent upon us for their every everything. Isn’t the goal of parenting to train the child to complete independence by age 18 (or so)? As a mom, I never want to hear that my child will be fine without me, but as my babies grow up, I train each one to do for him or herself. With my 9 year old, we are working on laundry and dishes.
Potty training is a rite of passage for parents. Unless you have a full-time, live-in nanny, there is no escaping the travails of potty training. Even my friend Sarah, whose first child was a dream to potty train, still dreads training her second child. Shortly after my 3rd baby was born, my little 2 1/2 year old son began to want to use the potty. Not wanting to miss a golden opportunity, we went ahead and began training. These were challenging days, most of which I spent in the bathroom with my son and a crying newborn on my shoulder. When my sweet neighbor Debbie brought over a meal, she told me she’d love to help out sometime. My response was straight from the gut: I told her (only partly-kidding) what I really needed was for her to take Jack for most of the day and potty train him. She replied (only partly-kidding), “Oh, and do you want me to send him to college too?” It was then that the full significance of this parenting trial truly hit me. This is parenthood 101.
